Sunday, February 20, 2011

My own prejudice


It’s true that due to who I am I’m more than likely not understood or accepted by a lot  of society, and yet, in my inner most being I cant help to have my own sort of prejudice even towards the people that I should understand the most. Now I’m not trying to write this as an excuse to my behaviour as I myself find it wrong, but I just can’t avoid those inner most feelings.

First I’ll go with what I think people will most likely understand and share, than I’ll go into what I think is truly bad from my own person.

One thing that honestly infuriates me is that transsexuals will usually get paired as a community next to travesties, this very honestly pisses me off, why? Well the first thing is that in no way are they related, transsexuals are the people who are unhappy with the gender they were born in, travesties are men who are ok being men but dress as women for a fetishist reason. Now that it’s clear that it’s not the same, here comes why it infuriates me, besides the fact that they consider us similar or the same comes this: people have a very based image of a travesty, this very manly looking image wearing a dress, looking awkward and strange, because of this people will often think that transsexuals are like this and by knowing someone is transsexual they will immediately think of this awkward image.

But are travesties truly the single responsible for such an image? Not at all, and here comes the reason why some transsexual women like me piss me off: because they will dress and act like women when they very obviously don’t look like one. I hate the fact that I’m certain that when I told people that I’m a transsexual it was this image that they instantly thought of, who’s to blame? I have never worn women’s clothing or acted like that, then why? It’s because of being linked to travesties and these awkward transsexuals that they get this image, it’s because of people like this that transition is hundreds of times harder. Just imagine, if transvestism and transexuality were not linked by people and transsexuals would act like women only when they have arrived a stage in which they honestly look like women perhaps people would understand that we don’t want to look like that, wont look like that or like looking like that, the image of a transsexual would be close to what most fully transitioned women look like. The thought of looking like that “man dressed as women” sickens me, it honestly does, I have often told myself “I wont dress like a woman until I can look like one while wearing mans clothing” and such I will do.

I also dislike late transitioners but for the reason that I can’t imagine waiting so long to transition, as an “I wouldn’t like to be that person”. They also sort of remind me of some of my inadequacies, which I dislike….

So there you have it, I myself am a monster towards those who I should understand the most, I hate myself for it, but such a person I am. I’m not who I would like to be, I am who I am.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Future projects and stuff


I want to make at least these articles soon:
Decency, obscenity and vulgarity.
My own prejudice (a short and shameful writing about how sometimes other trans persons make me mad)
Healthcare for transsexuals (a few things that make me rage about medical stuff for transsexuals)
Creativity and popularity (stuff about how creativity and popularity collide)

I don’t know which order they will follow.

I also would like to eventually start a comic about, you guessed it, transexuality, why? Well I just wanna. The problem is I’m not that good a cartoonist right now and I have no way of distributing it for the now (I have no scanner, tablet or skill at drawing with a mouse) but sometime.

Monday, February 14, 2011

A stern talking to


A few days ago I had a very serious talk with someone. This talk was awkward, irritating and generally not comfortable, and yet it was just what I needed.

I have an idea for articles soon, but I kind of wanted to take back story writing and I don’t know if ill ever post those here.

Updates and stuff to come.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

...and Writing

Writing unlike reading sees no pain no matter what, why? Well all of the things you blame to destroy literature and books BOOST writing, TV shows, movies, videogames… you name it, and it requires writing. These things still require the creativity of a select group or individual who create all of our entertainment no matter what.

The internet as I have said brings a great medium for writers weather they write comedy, drama, science and even amateur articles (but good ones, right?). TV too, it brings entire staffs of this creative minds together to craft the entertainment of the masses.

Now some writers would rather write a TV show, movie or other media instead of a book, to me a video game is an excellent way to communicate a story, a friend of mine wants no more than to write for comedy TV shows (and he’s really funny too!) so, why is it considered lower to work for such medias instead of a book? I honestly don’t know and can only assume that it’s that idea that somehow this modern media is vulgar compared to books, but why is that? Why? I don’t know, hell if you know tell me.

So don’t not for writing a novel are you a great writer, not for writing TV scripts are you a bad one, which is the beauty of writing, your words can turn into whatever you want.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Reading...


Nowadays you hear people talk a lot about how the youth doesn’t read as much as it did back some years ago, and its true, but I’d like to elaborate on this a bit more.

First, years ago we didn’t have stuff like TV, movies, video games and the internet; things that years ago would be novels or books are now adapted into movies, so the problem is that this new forms of entertainment have knocked reading a bit back, is this harmful? You might say that the entertainment communicated by this means is harmful, and I won’t argue with that, there are some very harmful things on TV, movies and the internet just gets the biggest mention on this one; but then again, there are several thousands of harmful books. I believe that it’s not the means on which the message is delivered that’s wrong, but the message itself. Humans have a way of forgetting history, look back at the past and you will see that there were thousands of crimes and horrifying things done by humanity back then, you see human condition doesn’t change, our technology does but you cant block the evil by limiting the media we intake this human product.

But there is a reason TV and cinema are so much popular than books, I believe this is because they are fast, no matter how you see it reading a book takes much longer than watching a TV show or movie. Society accelerates every day even more, that’s no shock, what’s wrong with that? Take away all of the different issues with the content and you’ll see that there’s no problem with it.

Maybe my personal example is not too relevant seeing how I’m not that much of a normal person in more than one aspect, but seeing how you are reading this, what I’m about to talk may apply to you too. I read a lot of stuff in the internet, articles, news, blogs and even stories or poems (and comics of course hehe) so maybe we’re not quite considering how information moves this days, a lot of text can be found in the internet (regardless of content) that people enjoy reading, and yet in all those “Youth doesn’t read stuff” I have never ever seen them mention this humongous quantity of different texts on the internet. What I’m saying is this people who grade us on the books we read every year or such don’t seem to get with the program, they still confuse reading with culture, people who don’t read a newspaper or a magazine or read one or two books a year still might have ample culture, it just comes from more modern sources.

Monday, February 07, 2011

Genius we say

“Look at that child, he can recite all of our presidents and states, he knows dates and names so well, he must be a prodigy, a genius I say!” how many cases like that have you herd? And not only children, with everyone, we confuse the fact of real intelligence with skill acquired through repetition. I often have said that people who should be considered intelligent not by the mass of their knowledge but by their capacity to understand these information.
I’m a victim of people believing I am some sort of unnatural genius, family friends and acquaintances seem to cling badly on the idea that I’m some kind of Richard Feynman; I honestly see how I might be good at certain sciences and sorts but I don’t believe to be the greatest ever, but people cling so badly to this idea that they push me around the this and rage in disappointment if I don’t meet their expectations.

It would seem to me that these people look for someone of uncanny talent so that they can somehow gloat in their success, same goes for these parents of so called prodigies; and people like me get caught in the middle of people expecting and pushing towards unnatural success, and I know what happens to the one caught there but that will go for a later story.

So people let those who you believe are geniuses guide themselves, believe it or not, there is a point in which we know what’s best for us.

Friday, February 04, 2011

The greatest evil that everyone blames

We see it every day, in the news or the mouths of houndreds of people everywhere, the root of the problems in economy, society and even the weather over our head, its this evil known as government; but, what has the government done to deserve such a bad fame?

The government has had its bad times in history, true, but what is the government really to blame? We live in a society in which he government has a very controlled influence over the economy thanks to the current regimen of capitalism, in this regime the ones who move more money are the companies and the government just works as a sort of moderator to its activities; many are under the belief that it’s the government that’s responsible of creating jobs, wrong, the ones who create and spread jobs are the enterprises. But where does the problem reside? The citizen of today believes that he deserves a job without wining it, there’s a belief that the government has the responsibility of bringing the job to the people while the citizen does little to get one himself. There is also the costume of the begging worker, what is this? Its when the person that seeks the job expects things from his job, demands them even, without offering something in exchange; so the worker does what little he can and the industry just can’t have workers that are not efficient, so this people can’t get a job they demand and they complain to the referee, the government.
 cont.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

The art of the effortless


There is a trend in today’s art, you can see it in galleries, expositions and even museums, it’s this trend that art must be as lazy and incomprehensible as possible.

I know a lot of people defend this “art” but part of my point is that they would not defend it did not include a certain “status”, the smug attitude of the people that follow this form of art should be enough evidence, this people gloat on using confusing forms of expression and then pointing inferiority on those who don’t understand it. It’s that sense of superiority that attracts people to that form of art, having information or understanding that others don’t have and preaching it to them is one of the most common things people do, and such a form of art gives people the tools to do such a thing, hence its popularity with the crowds.

Now its popularity with the artists is different, not only does this smug superiority attract them, but there are other aspects that interest the artist, three that I’d like to focus on: convenience, simplicity and profit.

 cont.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Blog launch intro

Decided to create a blog for the hell of it, intro go:

 I Live in the most peaceful land of tijuana, google it if you don't know what that means.

Im 19, transexual, in the closet, pre-transition but out of denial.

What will this blog be? just tales, thoughts, variable anecdotes and irreverent opinions.

Intro end, first post go:
What does it mean you are in the closet, pre transition but out of denial?
it means i now accept all those thoughts i suppressed so many years ago, i now know what's going on with me, but i have not told more than a few persons about it and i currently have no money to take any action about it and won't tell my parents about it or even worse get help from them (i still live with them, won't say what problem i have with them, at least yet) but ill get the means by myself.

Thats it for now, new posts sometime.