It’s true that due to who I am I’m more than likely not understood or accepted by a lot of society, and yet, in my inner most being I cant help to have my own sort of prejudice even towards the people that I should understand the most. Now I’m not trying to write this as an excuse to my behaviour as I myself find it wrong, but I just can’t avoid those inner most feelings.
First I’ll go with what I think people will most likely understand and share, than I’ll go into what I think is truly bad from my own person.
One thing that honestly infuriates me is that transsexuals will usually get paired as a community next to travesties, this very honestly pisses me off, why? Well the first thing is that in no way are they related, transsexuals are the people who are unhappy with the gender they were born in, travesties are men who are ok being men but dress as women for a fetishist reason. Now that it’s clear that it’s not the same, here comes why it infuriates me, besides the fact that they consider us similar or the same comes this: people have a very based image of a travesty, this very manly looking image wearing a dress, looking awkward and strange, because of this people will often think that transsexuals are like this and by knowing someone is transsexual they will immediately think of this awkward image.
But are travesties truly the single responsible for such an image? Not at all, and here comes the reason why some transsexual women like me piss me off: because they will dress and act like women when they very obviously don’t look like one. I hate the fact that I’m certain that when I told people that I’m a transsexual it was this image that they instantly thought of, who’s to blame? I have never worn women’s clothing or acted like that, then why? It’s because of being linked to travesties and these awkward transsexuals that they get this image, it’s because of people like this that transition is hundreds of times harder. Just imagine, if transvestism and transexuality were not linked by people and transsexuals would act like women only when they have arrived a stage in which they honestly look like women perhaps people would understand that we don’t want to look like that, wont look like that or like looking like that, the image of a transsexual would be close to what most fully transitioned women look like. The thought of looking like that “man dressed as women” sickens me, it honestly does, I have often told myself “I wont dress like a woman until I can look like one while wearing mans clothing” and such I will do.
I also dislike late transitioners but for the reason that I can’t imagine waiting so long to transition, as an “I wouldn’t like to be that person”. They also sort of remind me of some of my inadequacies, which I dislike….
So there you have it, I myself am a monster towards those who I should understand the most, I hate myself for it, but such a person I am. I’m not who I would like to be, I am who I am.